I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
