hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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