Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
