On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
