At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
