Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
