You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
