Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
