O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
