I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
