The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
