hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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