what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize