Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
