No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
