Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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