yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
as a side note pls kill me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
