Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
