Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
