Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
