can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
