The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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