Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
