no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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