you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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