D3 body, D1 cock
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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