so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize