At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
