Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
