Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
