"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
