She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
