i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize