every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
