i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
