My underwear smells like fireworks.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
