I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
