Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
