so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
