I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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