And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it was like eating out sand paper
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
