yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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