Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize