I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
