i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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