Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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