Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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