Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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