i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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