Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
