I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
