I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I didn't notice because vodka
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
