he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
