What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
