Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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