Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
