I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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