You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize