Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
