how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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