One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
