im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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