u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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