Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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