the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
