i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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