I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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