What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
