I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
