I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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