So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
